The Fez Chronicles

Witness a book in the making. Help me make my claim to fame and copyright security, and follow the antics of Art Satterthwrite's Fez (the name inside of my Fez). Remember you may need to testify you saw it here first in a court of law, so mark your calendar.

W'sup with the Fez?

Phil (from Phil(s)-Osophy Page) revealed to me one day that the only thing he really wanted was to find a home he felt comfortable in and a Fez. Why the Fez part, I don't know, but the thought intrigued me. I could see him relaxing in his new home, wearing his smoking jacket, sipping a martini (extra dry), listening to Charlie Mingus LPs while wearing his Fez. It was a lovely picture.

I mentioned this image to my friend Beth (From Beth Gilleland's Acting Tips for Cats) one day as we stumbled into an antique sale while on a quest to find the spot where my great grandmother had had her picture taken some 60-70 years prior. As we examined the goods for sale I spotted a red Shriner's Fez. "$45!" I blurted out. I love Phil in my own special way, but $45! Well let's just say at that moment I would have rather bought him $45 worth of Kracowska sausage (being that he was a starving philosophy student), than a ratty old Fez with minimal adornment (the guy must not have done enough good deeds or something). Beth agreed that was a sound plan, and we continued on our search.

About a month later a package arrived for me from Florida. Beth was doing a gig down there and apparently found her way into a flea market, where, spotted by her keen eye, was the most glorious of Fez's. Adorned with antique gold thread, its tassel held securely by a magnificently bejeweled half crescent pin, it was THE Fez I would pick for Phil. Which was the whole point.
"Now what do I do?" I think to myself. I couldn't very well give Beth's gift to Phil. How would I explain its absence from my hat rack? I resolved to keep the gift and continue the search for Phil's Fez.

I have an arrangement with a vintage clothing store to sell on consignment the vintage clothes I've outgrown due to windsurfing (50's women must not have had shoulders). One day I got a call that some of my things had sold. When I went in to pick-up my cash, there stood, quietly calling to me from the corner (sitting next to a chrome cocktail shaker I think), a beautiful rhinestone encrusted Fez. "Phil's Fez!" I thought with excitement. The price you ask? Well, there must be a blue book value for used Fezs because it was $45 as well. But with the clothing I had sold (and the fact that I was making a profit on them) I felt shopping karma was at its most prime. I got Phil his own Fez.

Follow now the adventures of Art Satterthwrite's (and my) Fez.

  L'Air du Temps '98 - The Fez takes its rightful place at
the marking of the first moment of Spring on the 45th Parallel.

  Tomas Macek
takes the Fez for a spin.


More to come...


"Fez Rocks!"

W.L. Jedlicka
All rights reserved. Don't make me come'n git you!